Guided Movie Discussions
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Improve your relationship by watching and then discussing Couples-Research.com Director: Dr. Ronald D. Rogge UCLA MArriAge enriChMent ProjeCt—Movie List A Recent UCLA study found that couples could improve their relationships by watching and discussing movies. INSTRUCTIONS What’s Your Love Story?
Each of these movies listed below features intimate relationships as a major plot focus. Watch one movie a week together then discuss the What movie did you watch? Movie Discussion Questions DIRECTIONS: Please use the following questions to discuss the relationships portrayed in the movie. Once you’ve discussed a specific question, write your joint answer in the space provided. 1. What was the main relationship portrayed in the movie? This is the relationship that you will focus on in the following questions. 2. What main problem(s) did this couple face? Are any of these similar to the problems that the two of you have faced or might face as a couple? 3. Did this couple strive to understand each other? Did they tend to accept one another, even if they were very different? Or did the couple tend to attack each others’ differences? In what way was this relationship similar to or different from your own relationship in this area? 4. Did the couple have a strong friendship with each other? Were they able to support each other through bad moods, stressful days, and hard times? Did they listen to each other like good friends? Did the couple in the movie do considerate or affectionate things for each other? In what way was this relationship similar to or different from your own relationship in this area?
5. How did the couple handle arguments or differences of opinion? Were they able to open up and tell each other how they really felt, or did they tend to just snap at each other with anger? Did they try using humor to keep things from getting nasty? Did it feel like they were really trying to understand each other?
In what way was this relationship similar to or different from your own relationship in this area?
6. If the couple got into arguments, did they tend to become heated? Did the couple ever start attacking each other, getting increasingly mean and hostile? Did they end up saying things they didn’t really mean? Once this started happening, how did the arguments tend to end?
In what way was this relationship similar to or different from your own relationship in this area?
7. When one of the partners brought up a problem, did he or she seem to do it in a constructive way (keeping things specific, explaining his or her feelings without attacking), or did it seem more like an attack? Did it seem like bringing up a problem became an assassination of the partner’s character?
In what way was this relationship similar to or different from your own relationship in this area?
8. How did the couple in the movie handle hurt feelings? Did they apologize to each other? Did the apologies seem sincere? Did they tend to jump to negative conclusions when their feelings got hurt, or did they tend to give each other the benefit of the doubt?
In what way was this relationship similar to or different from your own relationship in this area?
9. Did the partners seem to have similar expectations of their relationship? Where did their expectations differ? Did it seem like they were aware of their own expectations? Were their expectations reasonable? Did they share their expectations with each other?
In what way was this relationship similar to or different from your own relationship in this area?
10. What other things happened in the movie that might lead you to think differently about your relationship/marriage?
11. What other comments do you have about this movie?
How relevant was this movie to your own relationship?
How entertaining was this movie?
How would you rate this movie’s overall quality? Very Poor- Below Average- Average- Above Average- Excellent Movies used in the study
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Original Movie List from the Study
| A Star Is Born (1954) | Mr. Blandings Builds his Dreamhouse (1948) | ||
| Judy Garland and James Mason | Cary Grant and Myrna Loy | ||
| Adam's Rib (1949) | My Favorite Wife (1940) | ||
| Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn | Irene Dunne and Cary Grant | ||
| Anna Karenina (2012) | Nina Takes a Lover (1994) | ||
| Keira Knightley and Jude Law | Laura San Giacomo and Paul Rhys | ||
| As Good as it Gets (1997) | Nine Months (1995) | ||
| Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt | Hugh Grant and Julianne Moore | ||
| Barefoot in the Par (1967) | On Golden Pond (1981) | ||
| Robert Redford and Jane Fonda | Katharine Hepburn and Henry Fonda | ||
| Children of a Lesser God (1986) | Pat and Mike (1952) | ||
| William Hurt and Marlee Matlin | Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn | ||
| Days of Wine and Roses (1962) | Penny Serenade (1941) | ||
| Jack Lemmon and Lee Remick | Cary Grant and Irene Dunne | ||
| Desk Set (1957) | Phffft [Pfft!] (1954) | ||
| Spencer Tracy and Katharine Hepburn | Judy Holliday and Jack Lemmon | ||
| Dying Young (1991) | Red Firecracker, Green Firecracker (1994) | ||
| Julia Roberts and Campbell Scott | Jing Ning and Gang Wu | ||
| Fools Rush In (1997) | She's Having a Baby (1988) | ||
| Matthew Perry and Salma Hayek | Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern | ||
| Forget Paris (1995) | Steel Magnolias (1989) | ||
| Billy Crystal and Debra Winger | Shirley MacLaine and Olympia Dukakis | ||
| French Twist (1995) | Terms of Endearment (1983) | ||
| Patrick Aubrée and Josiane Balasko | Shirley MacLaine and Debra Winger | ||
| Funny Girl (1968) | The Devil's Advocate (1997) | ||
| Barbra Streisand and Omar Sharif | Keanu Reeves and Al Pacino | ||
| Gone With the Wind (1939) | The Egg and I (1947) | ||
| Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh | Claudette Colbert and Fred MacMurray | ||
| Guess Who's Coming to Dinner (1967) | The Male Animal (1942) | ||
| Spencer Tracy and Sidney Poitier | Henry Fonda and Olivia de Havilland | ||
| Hanover Street (1979) | The Out of Towners (1970) | ||
| Harrison Ford and Lesley-Anne Down | Jack Lemon and Sandy Dennis | ||
| Husbands and Wives (1992) | The Thin Man (1934) | ||
| Woody Allen and Mia Farrow | William Powell and Myrna Loy | ||
| Indecent Proposal (1993) | The Way We Were (1973) | ||
| Robert Redford and Demi Moore | Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford | ||
| Jungle Fever (1991) | Untamed Heart (1993) | ||
| Wesley Snipes and Anna Sciorra | Christian Slater and Marisa Tomei | ||
| Love Jones (1997) | When a Man Loves a Woman (1994) | ||
| Larenz Tate and Nia Long | Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia | ||
| Love Story (1970) | Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966) | ||
| Ali MacGraw and Ryan O'Neal | Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton | ||
| Made for Each Other (1939) | With Six You Get Eggroll (1968) | ||
| Carol Lombard and Jimmy Stewart | Doris Day and Brian Keith | ||
| Mississippi Masala (1991) | Yours, Mine and Ours (1968) | ||
| Denzel Washington and Sarita Choudhury | Henry Fonda and Lucille Ball | ||
| Move Over, Darling (1963) | |||
| Doris Day and James Garner | |||
Additional Movies
| American Beauty (1999) | Obsessed (2009) | ||
| Kevin Spacey and Annette Bening | Beyoncé Knowles and Idris Elba | ||
| Anger Management (2003) | Something's Gotta Give (2003) | ||
| Jack Nicholson and Adam Sandler | Jack Nicholson and Diane Keaton | ||
| Autumn in New York (2000) | Surviving Christmas (2004) | ||
| Richard Gere and Winona Ryder | Ben Affleck and Christina Applegate | ||
| Bee Season (2005) | Sweet Home Alabama (2002) | ||
| Richard Gere and Juliette Binoche | Reese Witherspoon and Patrick Dempsey | ||
| Before Sunset (2004) | Sweet November (2001) | ||
| Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy | Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron | ||
| Blue valentine (2010) | Terms of Endearment (1983) | ||
| Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams | Shirley MacLaine and Debra Winger | ||
| Coal Miner's Daughter (1980) | The Five-year Engagement (2012) | ||
| Sissy Spacek and Tommy Lee Jones | Jason Segel and Emily Blunt | ||
| Couples Retreat (2009) | The Back-up Plan (2010) | ||
| Vince Vaughn and Malin Akerman | Jennifer Lopez and Alex O'Loughlin | ||
| Crooklyn (1994) | The Big Wedding (2013) | ||
| Alfre Woodard and Delroy Lindo | Robert De Niro and Diane Keaton | ||
| Date Night (2010) | The Bounty Hunter (2010) | ||
| Steve Carell and Tina Fey | Jennifer Aniston and Gerald Butler | ||
| Deliver Us From Eva (2003) | The Break-up (2006) | ||
| Gabrielle Union and LL Cool J | Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn | ||
| Devil Wears Prada (2006) | The Campaign (2012) | ||
| Anne Hathaway and Meryl Streep | Will Ferrell and Zach Galifianakis | ||
| The Devil's Advocate (1997) | The Door in the Floor (2004) | ||
| Keanu Reeves and Charlize Theron | Jeff Bridges and Kim Basinger | ||
| The Family Man (2000) | The Glass House (2001) | ||
| Nicolas Cage and Téa Leoni | Diane Lane and Leelee Sobieski | ||
| Fatal Attraction (1987) | The Good Girl (2002) | ||
| Michael Douglas and Glenn Close | Jennifer Aniston and Jake Gyllenhaal | ||
| Father of the bride (1991) | The Horse Whisperer (1998) | ||
| Steve Martin and Diane Keaton | Robert Redford and Kristin Scott Thomas | ||
| Fool's Gold (2008) | The Marriage Chronicles (2012) | ||
| Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson | Jazsmin Lewis and Darrin Dewitt Henson | ||
| Four Christmases (2008) | The Mirror Has Two Faces (1996) | ||
| Reese Witherspoon and Vince Vaughn | Barbra Streisand and Jeff Bridges | ||
| Her (2013) | The Money Pit (1986) | ||
| Joaquin Phoenix and Amy Adams | Tom Hanks and Shelley Long | ||
| Hope Springs (2012) | The Notebook (2004) | ||
| Meryl Streep and Tommy Lee Jones | Ryan Gosling and Rachel McAdams | ||
| It's Complicated,(2009) | The Story of Us (1999) | ||
| Meryl Streep and Steve Martin | Bruce Willis and Michelle Pfeiffer | ||
| Julie & Julia (2009) | Think Like a Man (2012) | ||
| Amy Adams and Meryl Streep | Chris Brown and Gabrielle Union | ||
| Jumping the Broom (2011) | True Lies (1994) | ||
| Paula Patton and Laz Alonso | Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jamie Lee Curtis | ||
| Just Married (2003) | Unfaithful (2002) | ||
| Ashton Kutcher and Brittany Murphy | Richard Gere and Diane Lane | ||
| Life as we know it (2010) | Waiting to Exhale (1995) | ||
| Katherine Heigl and Josh Duhamel | Whitney Houston and Angela Bassett | ||
| Longtime Companion (1989) | Wanderlust (2012) | ||
| Stephen Caffrey and Patrick Cassidy | Jennifer Aniston and Paul Rudd | ||
| Love and other drugs (2010) | What Lies Beneath (2000) | ||
| Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway | Harrison Ford and Michelle Pfeiffer | ||
| Marley and Me (2008) | When a man loves a woman (1994) | ||
| Owen Wilson and Jennifer Aniston | Meg Ryan and Andy Garcia | ||
| Meet the Fockers (2004) | Why did I get married? (2007) | ||
| Ben Stiller and Robert De Niro | Tyler Perry and Janet Jackson | ||
| Monster-in-law (2005) | You, Me and Dupre (2006) | ||
| Jennifer Lopez and Michael Vartan | Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson | ||
| Mr. & Mrs. Smith (2005) | Don Jon (2013) | ||
| Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie | Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Scarlett Johansson | ||
| Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) | Before Midnight (2013) | ||
| Jim Carrey and Kate Winslet | Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy | ||
| The Best Man Holiday (2013) | This Is 40 (2012) | ||
| Monica Calhoun and Morris Chestnut | Paul Rudd and Leslie Mann | ||
RANKINGS: To help you select movies, here are some recent rankings of movies on these lists made by 1,100 couples who gave this process a try.
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RANK |
TOP 20: USEFUL FOR DISCUSSIONS |
RANK |
TOP 20: RELEVANT TO OWN RELATIONSHIP |
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1 |
America Beauty |
1 |
Before Sunset |
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2 |
Funny Girl |
2 |
Obsessed |
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3 |
Before Midnight |
3 |
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind |
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4 |
Two for the road |
4 |
Funny Girl |
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5 |
Obsessed |
5 |
Before Midnight |
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6 |
When a Man Loves a Woman |
6 |
Fools Rush In |
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7 |
Husbands and Wives |
7 |
Four Christmases |
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8 |
The Marriage Chronicles |
8 |
Marley and Me |
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9 |
I Give It A Year |
9 |
Father of the bride |
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10 |
Hope Springs |
10 |
When a Man Loves a Woman |
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11 |
The Way We Were |
11 |
The Five Year Engagement |
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12 |
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind |
12 |
Hope Springs |
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13 |
Yours, Mine and Ours |
13 |
This is 40 |
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14 |
Out of Towners |
14 |
Husbands and Wives |
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15 |
The Five Year Engagement |
15 |
Children of a Lesser God |
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16 |
Her |
16 |
Love Story |
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17 |
Children of a Lesser God |
17 |
Couple's Retreat |
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18 |
Fools Rush In |
18 |
Yours, Mine and Ours |
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19 |
Four Christmases |
19 |
Devil's Advocate |
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20 |
Dying Young |
20 |
Forget Paris |